I’m not sure what’s more wild, the earth we live on or the society we have created on it. What I am sure of is that my free spirit has always guided me further and further away from the picketed fences and into the vast fields and valleys of the unknown.
I committed myself and applied to college early decision when I was 16. Sounds crazy and unbelievable but it was my reality as a young student. I was a volleyball player and I wanted to keep playing, and I was fortunate enough to find a place that immediately felt like home. But still, I was 16 years old. I turned 17 shortly after that decision, but that one digit didn’t make me feel any more mature, let alone any sort of ready.
I was committed but no part of me liked the idea of that. I didn’t want to go to college anymore. I didn’t know who I was, who I wanted to be, or what I wanted to learn more of in the classroom. What I did know is that I wanted to learn more about life. I wanted to understand how other people live but more so how I wanted to live.
When I told this to my family, friends, teachers, and coaches, I got the same snarl, that nasty “you’re crazy” look, and was always hit with the “what do you think you would do instead of college?” question. And this was always my answer:
I’ll just live in a van and figure it out as I go.
That was my dream, at 17 years old, because I was never really into the idea of following the path society wanted to pave for me. I didn’t want to go to college at 17 years old because I didn’t feel like I was ready and I didn’t want to waste all that money to learn about things I didn’t think I wanted to learn. Sounds pretty privileged of me, I know. Don’t worry. I got the education and I am so incredibly grateful that I did. (If anyone is reading this that pushed me to attend college – thank you, seriously, from the bottom of my heart. To Marc Kenney, my high school journalism teacher, I owe you the most. Thank you.)
I want simplicity. My mind has always gotten incredibly overwhelmed by the chaos and commotion of the corporate world, and the “live to work” mentality never resonated with me. I want to work so that I can live. I want nature. I want campfires and constellations, fresh air and ocean breezes; I want to climb mountains instead of looking at them.
And just like that, BAM. All of a sudden, here I am, a college graduate, back to square one, with that same mentality. I’m 21 years old, about to turn 22. After all that education I still don’t think I know that much. I’m definitely smarter. More mature, that’s for sure. I can actually navigate the real world now, somewhat? Yet I still don’t know who I want to become, what I want to do as a career, or how I want to get there. I truly admire those who have a five-year plan (what does that even look like?) and those who have already landed their first real job (you deserve it) and even those who moved back home with their parents to take the time and figure out their next steps (keep breathing, you got this, it just takes time). Because if there is anything I learned in the past four years, it’s that no one is going to guide us through our lives. It’s up to us, it’s all our own, and it’s not going to look like anyone else’s.
All that aside, now I’m here. I’m typing this from the bed of a van while my boyfriend makes us breakfast in the kitchen (really he’s just two feet away from me). And nothing has ever felt so right for me. Not only am I following a dream of mine, but I’m following my heart. No matter what anyone has said to me, who has doubted me or questioned my decisions or laughed at the path I’m choosing to take—I don’t care. I know this is exactly where I am supposed to be.
Thanks for joining me here. I’m looking forward to sharing my travels, my triumphs, my emotions, and everything in-between as I navigate this little blip of my life through the windy roads of America.
Wherever you are with yours—try to live it on the wild side.
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